Day %!!!

5 days baby.. Found this song and I love it! I will sleep so good after hearing this song and its lyrics!!! AMAZING

At least come join me
Within the belly of the big blue beast.
Set asail, catch a breeze,
And come on

Don't forget to fill your suitcase.
Now watch it sink,
Cause where we're going we don't need a thing.
Not a map, or a seed,

Cause where we've been is who we used to be.
We started wrapping our regrets in cloth
Are you defined by all the things you want...
Or did you get caught
Up in the things that we are not?

You were born to believe you can't get lost,
So when you run, you always get too far.
Now there's nothing you haven't seen.

But where we're headed we have never been,
Past the pavement that we used to walk,
Past the people that we used to know.
Now come on, go
Past the people that had broke our hearts.
We started laughing at them from afar.
But now we've climbed too far without a rope.
Now come on, go


No we're not swans,
Nor are we as ugly as we think we are.
We don't take to compliments but please don't stop
Now come on, come on,

We are not swans
We fit into eachother, we are russian dolls,
Where somewhere in the centre sits a beating heart.
But come on, come on,
We are not swans.

Now do you feel we've gone too far
Or do you feel we've reached the top
Or do you feel like letting go
Now come on, hold on,


We are not swans,
Nor are we as ugly as we think we are.
We have fallen fast, but we aren't falling far
Now come on, come on,
We are not swans,
Our fathers gave us features that we didn't want,
Our mothers claim those features made them fall in love,
But come on, come on,

We are swans.
We are flying higher than our counterparts.
We have got eachother I'd say that's enough.
Now come on,
come on,
come on.

Damn Day 4!!

Worse Freaking day yet!!!
So I am still sick, but today it really hit me. I've lost my voice and my throat is killing me like I'm swallowing sand paper!! But this morning was okay Paige and Kaden came and Hung out. We watched Gossip Girls and chilled with the kids, but as the afternoon drug on. I kept feeling sicker and sicker! Robyn stopped by to see me and the girls and then she let me go to the doctors, Flemings has been so great. I've had too miss 2 days of work and Closed both days. But my work is So So GREAT!!! They really care and take care of me! And can I just say how much I am going to miss Jules Vern, I called her bawling because I couldn't even get the girls dinner and in too bed, and of course I call her and she drops everything too help me out! Comes down takes care of me! She is moving in less than a week and I am going to miss her so much! Blah JULES I LOVE YOU! Tomas just said I am so sorry all day long and wished me well. Reese was getting a little ornery today too! But she said the cutest things when I was crying on the couch, and my phone wouldn't work! She got a towel and wiped my eyes and took my phone and said its okay mom, I'll fix it! Oh I tried so hard not too cry again... Reese really takes such good care of me sometimes, better than anyone, and she becoming a permanent fixture in my bed in the morning! She comes up at like 4! And asks where's dad and I can't send her back down. I really needed tomas today though, its so hard when your sick and still have to take care of the babies... Anyways Rough day day 4 glad its over! Ten right now, Jules is still visiting and I am so tired! Going to watch some gossip girls and call it a night!!! Good bye Day 4!!! Don't want too see you again! J

DAY 3

Blah Freaking sick... My throat feels like sand paper. it sucks. Still tired but had too call in sick for work, so around two went and got reese signed up for The Little Gym. I 'm excited for her to start going. Then we went to Mcdonalds and let the girls play. I felt really white trash though, I haven't showered in 3 days now, I am disgusting, but don't worry showering just as soon as I get the girls lay'd down. Took swoop to the dog park and we were there for awhile again. Then came home and mowed the lawn! Cleaned up all of Swoops crap! IT looks good though and I am proud of myself for getting that done. Halle is sitting in the high chair whining its going to be an early bedtime for them tonight its not even seven yet! But the sun is making them tired! I am going to take a nice long hot shower and then watch some gossip girls and pass out! I have to go too work tomorrow no matter how I am really feeling. But Fiona is coming to play with the girls and babysit them and they love her! Anyways good day again, but not really productive till around 2 ish... Well I did start to make muffins this morning but we were out of eggs. Blah and I forgot too go grab some for tomorrow! Reese I know is having a hard time without tomas, when we were in the playplace at mcdonalds when she couldn't see me she started crying and yelling mom don't leave me! Sad

DAY 2

Good day.
Still tired, I think it is because I am coming of those pills, its been two weeks now and I am having small withdrawals but its a good thing. Had toast with Peanut Butter for breakfast, forgot how good that really is. Was suppose to work at 5 but got called off, so took the girls too the park, and swoop to the dog park. So good for the girls too get out, and for me as well! Two dogs started fighting and it was sad, but luckily the little dog was okay. Then went to liberty and let reese play in the sand for like 2 hours, she loves it! Met Gretchen B from high school and met her partner Kim and there two beautiful children! That is why I love salt lake! Can't explain it but just love the openness of things here. The lack of Judgement! Free to be you and me if you will! Missed Tomas terribly though! Steph called and dropped some stuff off, I am really going to enjoy having her around and helping me out! Its fate. Anyways just started watching Gossip Girls the 1st season and making some pasta right now, its almost nine and I am so so tired excited to sleep, Still on the couch, laundry half done though! yay,

Day 1

May 5 2009...
So Happy Cinco de Mayo!! I lay'd on the couch pretty much all day today, watched the girls play, fed them, changed Halle's diaper and let Reese watch tv all day long! The bare minimum was all I could muster today. I slept on the couch and I plan on doing it again tonight, not because my bed is covered in laundry because at the moment it is not its back on the bloody floor wrapped in my new blue comforter. But the couch makes me feel closer to him is all! I didn't sleep very well at all last night and I hope tonight is better. I got up and started cleaning around 5 pm only because Jules Vern was coming over to watch a movie The curious case of Benjamin Buttons... I don't think my Brad Pitt crush will ever go away! Love him! Anyways Tomas called and texted all day, so we are in touch throughout the day which is nice.. Reese asked for Tomas several times today. Everytime the door would open and beep "front door" Halle would look up and Reese would call out daddy! That will be the hard part for sure. After dinner and the girls took there baths, I got Halle out and put her pj's on okay okay jules did lol and I put her in front of the computer and let her watch Tomas reading too her, and she grabbed the screen and said da da over and over!! And Reese from the tub kept yelling daddy daddy. I tried to put her in front of the computer but she really didn't get it! She kept looking for him. Today I was on the verge of tears all day. Swoop ran over into amy's yard and her mom flipped out! And tears sprang too my eyes! I need to get that under control, and cry when appropriate, but for now my emotions are right on my sleeve. Hopefully that will get better! Its seems an awfully long road for this too be over. Anyways it was nice having jules here and tommorow night I work, so the night will go fast! Anyways made through day one! ps I think I am getting a cold or something it sucks my throat hurts! J